Part 1: What are you doing today to create a better version of yourself?

Over the past few years I have had the privilege of working with some brilliant coaches. The one common theme I've learned from all of them is that we create our own reality through our thoughts and mindset. In other words, we generate our own luck in life as well as the challenges we meet along the way. The power of our mind is truly incredible. Leadership coach, Dawn Bentley, shares her thoughts on how we can help ourselves when we get 'stuck' in old habits and repetitive patterns of behaviour. This will then enable us to build the life we really want.

Have you settled for less?

•  Do you find that you are not getting what you want?
• Are you feeling limited or stuck in some way?
• Do you find that you are repeating patterns of behaviour, or phrases, or ways of thinking that get in your way?
• Have you settled for less?

If the answer to any of these questions is yes then I’ll bet you are living your life according to old patterns of thinking and conditioned ways of being to run your life. But, it doesn’t have to be this way. You can get whatever you want if you are prepared to make changes to the way you think and perceive the world around you

Why do we get stuck? 

Being stuck, or thinking that you can’t do or have what you want, is normal. We all have limiting thoughts about our abilities and it happens when we attach ourselves to the past or the future. Often it’s due to an unconscious decision we have made in the past, and more often than not it’s driven by emotion rather than logic. We make choices thinking that having a certain belief will help us get what we want or keep us safe. Being stuck is a mental state whichbecomes a habit because it’s driven by a deep-rooted belief. Your brain drives your thoughts and your behaviour. When you are stuck in old patterns, the body responds automatically. When you are on ‘automatic pilot’, your habitual patterns play out so life seems repetitive.

Rising above your conditioned way of being: The first step to change is self-awareness. Start by becoming an observer of yourself. It’s very easy to be critical of things that you do, particularly when it’s a habit you want to change. Additionally, being critical is more likely to close down your thinking. So, you want to open up your thinking, be curious, and ask yourself questions such as:

• How did I create this habit in the first place?
• What is it about this situation that is causing me to behave in this way?
•  How do I actually feel right now?
• What one thing can I do to begin to change?

Once you start to break an old pattern, you can start to learn new ways to operate and build more positive, enabling habits.

Practise is the key: The thing that got you into this stuck state was practise. You took on thoughts, beliefs and actions, and repeated them until they became automatic. Therefore, it makes sense that a new practice will help you to become unstuck. 

To find the practice that is right for you, you need to be clear about what you want. For some people this can be the real challenge. As a coach, when I first ask this question, I often hear ‘I don’t know’. The second most common response I receive is people telling me what they don’t want. For example, if I’m working with someone who wants to be more confident, they’ll tell me they don’t want to be nervous, or they don’t want to forget what they are wanting to say, or they don’t want to stutter over their words. But, this focuses your brain on what already happens – your old practice - your aim is to train your brain to focus on what you really want to get a crystal clear picture in your mind. Be as specific as you can, so think about what you will do, how you will look, what you will say to yourself - and write all this down.

Be consistent in your practise. 
Remember you are creating new habits that will help you live the life you want. Consider where you are going to practise, with who, and in what situations. Then practise.

A word of advice: Be patient! You are re-wiring your brain which has been doing things in a certain way for many years. Start small and build on it. Praise yourself for small successes. Focus on what is working and adjust what isn’t. Think about the first time you got on a bike, or drove a car. You started by practising some of the basic actions and had support. You made mistakes along the way but through hours of practise you became competent. The same rules apply here, so be kind to yourself and find someone who will cheer you on as you make small steps to living the life you want.

In Part 2, Kathryn will share her own experiences of how working with Dawn and other coaches helped her become 'unstuck' in her own behaviours.

Dawn Bentley is an executive coach working with leaders who are open minded and want to continue to learn and grow. She believes everyone has hidden potential and can achieve whatever they want with the right level of support, challenge and encouragement. If you’re ready to take the next step on your leadership journey give set up a discovery call or find out more by visiting her website.

Kathryn White is owner and director of Cathean Ltd Medical and  Copy Writing Services. She is a published medical, copy and equestrian writer with a passion for creating compelling text in collaboration with her clients. Her customers include pharmaceutical, healthcare and equestrian businesses across the world.